Balance
by Trinity23Rose
Summary: Despite his newly found balance, Harry still can't deal with his feelings, which results in him coming back to Earth 1 only to look for some liquid courage before his talk with Snow…


Thetomcavanagh from instagram wanted a drunk Harry shot, pun not intended, and about a week later I felt inspired to write this. I hope you enjoy.

 **Description:** Despite his newly found balance, Harry still can't deal with his feelings, which results in him coming back to Earth 1 only to look for some liquid courage before his talk with Snow…

* * *

The last few days had been hard for Caitlin whereas they really shouldn't be.

Now that DeVoe was gone, she was finally free to focus her entire attention on her past, on researching the origins of Killer Frost. She still had trouble wrapping her mind around the fact that her alter ego seemed to have occupied her body back when she'd been a baby. More even, there was at least one occasion on which Killer Frost had saved her life without her even realizing it.

Still, every time Caitlin tried to dive into everything she'd so far found and then look for more information; every time she was picking up her phone, ready to call her mother with just about millions of questions, she got discouraged.

And it was all Harrison's fault.

She bit on her lower lip for the umpteenth time that day, hitting her nails against the counter of her desk as she tried to work, but to no avail. She just couldn't stop thinking about the man and it was driving her crazy. In fact, if she were to be honest with herself, Harry had been driving her crazy ever since she'd met him. Still, it was only a couple of months ago, as he finally came to Earth 1 to stay, that she let herself feel something more for him. And she hated herself for it. Pushing aside the fact that he probably didn't reciprocate her feelings, he did look exactly like the Harrison Wells she'd used to work for, idolized and eventually been betrayed by. Only she never saw that man in Harry. She never had the problem of telling all the doppelgangers apart, finding the ultimate proof that you did love the person inside, not just the cover. Harrison Wells of Earth 2 made her feel _special_ and she'd never before found herself reacting to any of the Wellses from the multiverse this way. Of course, there were even more issues like him being so much older than her and coming from an entirely different world; the latter recently becoming insignificant as he was staying. Only then the cure Marlize had given them restored his mind, but didn't fix his intelligence. And he was gone again. To see his daughter. The most important woman in his life. Of course.

Snow knew she had no right to hold it against him. She knew she couldn't expect him to feel the same when he clearly didn't. He would've said something already, wouldn't he? She sighed when remembering the way he looked down, saying _I love you, too_ and then giving her that stealthy look before making a dash for the door, ready to leave for his earth. To this day she hadn't figured that one out.

Or maybe there was simply nothing to figure out. She had to deal with the fact that he was gone and not coming back and that he didn't care for her _that_ way. She couldn't overanalyze every single of his steps. She bet he didn't even remember most of them anyway. It must've all been accidental…

With that in her mind, she decided to finally get down to work and push Harry to the dark recesses of her mind. She had to get over this. Over _him._ She didn't have luck in love and it was high time to finally accept this as a fact.

The moment she finally managed to forget about Harry at least for a minute, her phone started ringing and when she glanced at the screen, her eyes opened widely.

Harry was apparently calling her, but how was that possible if he was on Earth 2?

She tentatively reached for her phone and eventually picked it up, saying his name, her eyebrows raised high on her forehead in surprise.

"Snow?" she could barely hear him, actually, because of some awful music playing in the background and some other voices.

"Harry?" The frown on her face only deepened. "Are you ok? Why are you calling me? Are you back?"

"Yeah… I… Um…" He couldn't seem to form a coherent sentence and she was suddenly afraid that the cure Marlize had given them worked only temporarily and he was back to his enlightened stage.

"Harry, are you all right? Do you know where you are? Are your memories intact?"

"Of course they are! I have seven PhDs, Snow! It's all safely tucked in my head… I just…" She frowned once more on hearing that because the last time she'd seen him, he claimed to not have his intelligence back. Either he got it back with time or he simply lied to them. But why? "Can you maybe come and get me?" she heard him ask.

* * *

Caitlin couldn't believe this was actually happening. In fact, she felt as though she was in some bizarre dream, because her picking Harry up from a bar where he actually got himself drunk and bringing him to her apartment was too surreal to be true.

"Sorry," he apologized as he staggered on the stairs and she needed to hold him to keep him steady. "My legs don't work," he then said and giggled. "That's funny, right? They just refuse to work!"

Caitlin wondered how would Cisco react if he saw his friend in this stage. Clearly, he would have a blast. Then she was actually curious why Harry called her and not Ramon. Maybe to avoid the teasing that would surely ensue, but then again, she wasn't sure he was even capable of such a straight thinking.

"Thank God you showed up! That guy in there wanted to call the cops!" Harry informed in a slightly raised voice. She had to shush him down since it was close to midnight and she knew her neighbors wouldn't like the noise.

"Well, you did tell him you were Harrison Wells, so no wonder, truly," she spoke her opinion, relieved to finally able to open the door to her apartment and let him inside.

She led him to her couch and went to get some water and aspirin.

Her heart suddenly softened when she stopped in the door on her way back, just watching him sit there, shoulders slumped, eyes boring sadly into the floor. He'd taken off his glasses as they now rested on the table.

"Why are you back anyway? And why did you get drunk?" she eventually asked, making her way to him and sitting right next to him. "Is everything all right between you and Jesse?" she then tried guessing because no other explanation came to her mind.

"Oh, yes. Everything's great. She was… pissed," he eventually said after gulping all the water down, "but she came around. She was just happy to have me back all right and I… I changed."

"I know," Caitlin admitted with a nod, studying his tired face closely. Said change didn't stop her from loving him. She thought nothing could do that, actually and it made her feel sad. "I still don't understand why you told me earlier about your PhDs and all the knowledge you have. I thought it was gone," she decided to hint at that.

He sighed, avoiding her eyes and just when he opened his mouth to answer, he changed his mind, pressing his hand into his forehead. "My world is spinning," he informed her after a moment.

"That's what you get for drinking too much," she told him in a voice rid of any compassion. Because why would she feel sorry for him for feeling so bad that he took to drinking? Couldn't he just leave her be? It was hard enough for her as it was!

"I lied," he then suddenly said.

"About?" she prompted.

"I have it all back." He made a point when putting his hand on his head before lowering it back to his laps. "I just…" he hesitated and she let him speak, curious where he was going with this. "I thought I could do this… have this… balance as I put it before… because just when I lost everything, there was still one thing… or maybe two things… that were the most important to me…" He sighed again when coming to an abrupt stop. Then he finally looked her straight in the eye and she truly didn't know what to make of what she saw in his blues.

"Harry, please, explain because I don't follow," she eventually pleaded, looking away since the depths of those azures were just too much for her poor heart.

"Snow… _Caitlin_ ," he said her name, emphasizing it. The truth was that no one addressed her the way he did and it always warmed her heart. "You're beautiful… good… amazing… one of the kind..." he enumerated those features, oblivious to her heart racing and the crimson that colored her cheeks. "I was gonna give myself some courage before coming here, but…" He shook his head and then winced. "Damn, this world really is spinning…" He leaned back, closing his eyes for a moment and she knew he would fall asleep soon. She was relieved he wasn't a loud or mean drinker, but in the same time she didn't want him to drift off just yet. She needed to hear him say it, damn it!

"Harry, what…?" But it was already too late. He was fast asleep.

And how was _she_ gonna sleep now after _this_? She couldn't possibly wake him up. He would be useless anyway as the alcohol was taking control over his body. All she could do now was to just put a blanket over him, bring him a fresh glass of water and another aspirin so they would wait for him once he woke up.

And she would have to wait as well.

* * *

When Harry opened his eyes in the morning he immediately shut them back up because of the blinding sunlight hitting his pupils and causing him pain. His head was pounding like crazy and he needed to drink some water and fast. Otherwise…

Suddenly, a vague memory of Snow's confused face appeared in his mind and he blinked a few times before sitting up straight, looking around and realizing he'd never been in this place before.

"How are you feeling?" he heard her voice and just had to close his eyes right back. Because this wasn't happening. He hadn't called her the night before. He hadn't come over here and…

"Oh, God!" he uttered, placing both of his hands on his face. "What…? I… Fuck."

"I'll take that as not good," Snow said and she was right there, standing over the couch on which he was still sitting, watching him. And he was beyond mortified.

He reached for the glass and for the aspirin just to prolong the moment he would finally have to look at her, foggy memories rushing back to his tired and achy head, causing him to wince.

"All right…" he finally said, having emptied the glass, "I should probably apologize for… Did I really tell people I was Harrison Wells?" he suddenly frowned at the vague memory of himself sitting by the bar.

"I'm afraid so. Don't worry, though. I came to your rescue," she assured him with a hint of amusement in her voice. Still, he could also detect some nervous anticipation and in that moment he knew he had to finally tell her the whole truth. He was just scared of what this would mean and how she would react. The night before it had seemed like a great idea, especially after some serious prodding from his daughter's side, but now…

"Harry…" There it was, he thought when he heard that tone and then felt the couch shifting when she sat down by his side. "Harry, I think we need to talk."

"Yes," he agreed with a sigh, bracing himself. He finally raised his head and looked at her and God, she was so beautiful. Which he'd already told her the night before, another memory rushed right back and he wanted to scream at his own stupidity.

"You said some things last night that… that confused me," she explained slowly when nervously playing with her fingers. "I would like to… I _need_ to know what you meant. I think you owe me the truth."

"It seemed so simple back when I lost my intelligence but still had all my memories and feelings, you know," he told her and then noticed how her lips parted and eyes opened wider. She was far too close and way too beautiful. And she was making him nervous. "And I still didn't say anything because I knew we had to stop DeVoe. Or maybe I knew that it didn't matter. That I should say it, but I was afraid and decided to convince myself that we had to take care of the enemy first."

"And we did. And apparently, the cure Marlize gave us did more than just restored your memories. And you still left despite the fact that we would always have you, Harry, intelligence or not. The team isn't the same…"

"…without Harrison Wells," he finished after her with a small chuckle. "I know."

"No. No, you don't." She shook her head and he just had to look at her again. "Not without any Harrison Wells. Without _you_."

Now it was his turn to open his mouth in surprise. If she didn't feel the same, she wouldn't care, she wouldn't just prod him now, would she?

"We're both helpless at this, aren't we?" he asked out of the sudden.

"I think you're right," she agreed and then bit on her lip which immediately attracted his eyes and before he knew it, he was placing his hand on her face and she was freezing as he let his thumb run across said lip and release it from between her teeth.

"Caitlin," he sighed.

"Harry?"

"We're both afraid because we both lost someone we loved dearly," he eventually spoke the words and she had to agree, just nodding, his hand still on her face. In fact, he soon added his second hand to her other cheek, looking into those beautiful eyes.

"But risking it again will always be better than being alone, always wondering…"

"Agreed," she backed him up again.

"I really want to kiss you right now, but… I think I have to brush my teeth first," he then followed with, taking his hands away. "We don't want this to be unpleasant. I drunk a lot last night."

"That you did," she actually laughed, relief washing over her, just leaving this slightly nervous but pleasant and exciting anticipation. "I keep a spare toothbrush in my bathroom cabinet. You're welcome to it."

"Do you mind if I use your shower as well?"

"Knock yourself out," she answered, suddenly feeling flushed all over as she thought of Harrison. Naked. In her shower. Now.

She had to swallow whereas he was just gone, heading in the direction she showed him.

She heard the water running and then she could tell he was brushing his teeth. Next, after a few silent seconds during which he was probably taking his clothes off, she heard the shower.

And she was suddenly hit with a need so great that she squirmed in her seat, wondering when was the last time she'd actually been with a man and couldn't truly remember. It must've been with Ronnie. But she still didn't know _when_.

Hadn't she and Harry already wasted enough time? She thought when again trapping her lip between her teeth, suddenly discovering she was standing up and heading for the bathroom. She couldn't think about it. If she did that, she would surely change her mind and what she needed right now was courage.

So she just did it.

They'd basically told each other _I love you_ , so she didn't see a reason to why she shouldn't open the bathroom door.

It was steamy inside as she walked in, seeing Harrison's naked silhouette through the shower door. His back was to her and despite the steam and the water on the glass door, she could see his body, the strong back and the very firm and sexy ass.

Before she knew it, she got rid of her own clothes and opened the shower door, causing him to twitch. He turned around in sudden surprise, his mouth hanging open and he was just standing there facing her, completely naked, water falling down his gorgeous body.

She couldn't help but trace her eyes down his chest to the tantalizing v line at which sight she actually salivated to… the moment she looked _there_ , he started to harden. It reminded her of her own nakedness and the fact that he was just watching her body with the same intent, though a little abashed as though he still couldn't believe this was happening and that he had her permission. She wouldn't jump into his shower naked if he didn't, right?

"I thought…" she said and came to an awkward stop when closing the door behind herself. "Um… I couldn't wait for that kiss any lon…" before she managed to finish, he was cupping her face and his lips were pressing against her own.

The kiss was slow, tentative at first as they slowly familiarized themselves with each other and then she felt his tongue prod, so she opened to its advances, getting herself lost in this man, in his lips, feeling his arms going around her, pressing her into his body, feeling her nipples poking as they came in contact with the skin on his chest and then his fully erected length was trapped between their bodies, pressing onto her stomach.

As they kept on kissing, he pushed her gently against the wall, ravishing her mouth, his hands going to her front and up to cup her breasts, his thumbs teasing the nipples, earning a whimper from her lips. She raised her leg and put it around his hip, needing to feel more of him, needing to gain some friction since she was already getting crazy with desire for this man. And he was _hers_ , his mind restored, her own feelings for him apparently reciprocated. She felt drunk on happiness. She felt grateful that they were finally here.

And then he pulled away, looking deeply into her eyes.

"I need to say this first," he told her, "I love you, Caitlin."

Her heart sung, butterflies fluttered in her stomach, the ache between her legs only deepened.

"I love you, too, Harry," was the only way she could answer him.

"Good." He was kissing her again and his hand was between her legs, teasing her, finding her entrance and stroking her gently, checking how wet she was for him.

"Don't let me wait too long," she teased him then. His lips traced to her neck and down to her breast.

"I wouldn't dream of it, dr. Snow," he assured her, securing her leg around his hip with one hand as he guided himself inside with the second, filling her in with a slow, powerful and torturous stroke.

She saw stars as he started moving inside her. She was holding onto his strong arms, focused entirely on his person and the way he made her feel.

No, she decided just then. It wasn't that she didn't have luck in love. She'd just got burnt and it'd taken her some time to open up again, but she was there now and she was finally happy. With the right man.

And something told her he felt the exact same way. That with her he could finally find this balance he so desperately craved. And maybe she could use some as well.


End file.
